Bangla yang hipokrit

Baru aku tahu sape punyer keje anto Mr B Ali ke sini. Si bangla yang mangkok. He's one of the train driver in Cloncurry, first met him in the gym awhile ago.
So came across him again kat Woolies yesterday and he asked me if anyone come to the office on Monday to see me. Then he told me that Mr B Ali is the tabligh, doing a tour to Queensland. Bukan aku tak suka tabligh (adik datuk aku pon tabligh kuat kat Kelantan tapi die cool), cume tabligh arab/keling ni pundek sket. Aku tanyer aaa pesal dia tak jumpe je Mr B Ali instead of aku? then he answered with bangla penat mekat slang, "I warrs art humm, sleerrpeeng" ( I was at home, sleeping)....waaakkkluuu lengkong!
Bangla ni was hepi when first time met me (when muslim meet brothers), convinced me that he is a good muslim (tak tanye pon). Siap nak dtg opis aku, suruh book any room ajak jemaah zuhur asar time office hour (umah aku seminit drive je bley balik solat kejap kot). Tapi why another muslim (Mr B Ali) yang dtg dari jauh Sydney die tanak jumpe?? Maybe he was tired drove the train the day before, but why not since die kat umah and sacrifice a few hours (a few minutes perhap) spend time with his tabligh?? This is my answer for you bangla, Chhhhittt Porraah!

Mr B Ali..

I've got visitors from Sydney that claimed themselves as Mr B Ali. They went to my office but I was at home enjoying my mee hoon goreng while watching The Unit. They left a message as below:

So, with all the curiosity I asked Joanne (lady at the front desk) who they are. And she said they wear this cover on their head (serban) and they are arabian with long goatie and white dressed. Gulp! Pak Arab mane plak ni?? ouh and they drove from Sydney! Mak aii apehal pak arab dtg dari Sydney ke Cloncurry carik aku? Joanne dgn muke yakin kasitau they mmg carik aku 'Azman'. How the hell they knew my name??I cant recall any friend from Sydney cuz I dont have any arab friend..dah ler aku ni tak suke arab, yg muka ala² arab pon aku benci...haha yes, I am racist toward arab! muahaha

Neway, aku risau je sbb from Sydney ni possibly:

1. AAPT Lawyer : I've been receiving bill from them but I had canceled the service ages ago. Received couple of lawyer letter on behalf of AAPT last month. Kalo antar org pon, takkan laa antar pak arab kan?
2. FOXTEL Lawyer : Yup, again it is all about bill. I talked to FOXTEL last year that I wanted to swapped with AUSTAR since there is no FOXTEL services in Cloncurry. They wanted to penalties me because Im still under the contract but I would've stay with FOXTEL if they have coverage in here. So not fair for me. Bla bla bla and finally they said I wont be charged and I won. Got AUSTAR installed and all of the sudden kepaaammm sampai bill kene charge break of contract from FOXTEL, wot theee?? cilake tul mat salleh tu terus aku buat bodo je. Every month from then dpt bill and lawyer letter. Hurmm again takkan aa dierang hantar pak arab lawyer kan?
3. Friend of my officemates from Sydney. My mates told me that his friend from Sydney is coming to visit him and do some bore hunting. They are Lebanese. So I met my mates tu and he convinced me the Lebanese guys not yet in Curry. And they are modern Lebanese, tak mungkin dress up jubah and serban. Dah ler nak hunt bore plak tu. So tak mungkin derang.
4. Maybe Mat Rock <--- confident jer Amar punye guess. Mat Rock mendeenyeee?? buat mangrove research kat sini? sungai pon kontang inikan nak ade mangrove...illusi tinggi aa ko Amar. Closed guess by the way, Amar.

Dalam keseraman tu, I told my email buddy, Amar and Ansar to ring them to investigate (menyamar). But sorang² plak ade je alasan sendiri..adeeee jer...kukukui...aku bukan ape...risau je, jauh² gini malas aku nak cari hal...doa² pak arab tu tak dtg lagi..I didnt call back and Mr B Ali remains a mystery.....

Surat Cinta Padamu Vista

Kehadapan Vista yang dikasihi,
Di awal dahulu amatku gundah gulana pikirkan pertukaran OS(OperatingSystem) XP kepadamu Vista...ku format segala isi perut hardisk, ku senaraikan software yang wajib ada di komputarku supaya serasi (compatible) denganmu wahai Vista. Memandangkan pelbagai masalah hubunganku bersama si XP terutamanya XP merajuk tidak mahu mainkan suara (audio) semua flash, hampirku jadi gila hilang akal tiada audio tatkala layan ezora dan youtube. Hanya video sahaja yang nampak tanpa suara. Pelik, kerana lagu dan movie ade pulak sound. Weekend lepas sungguhku berang terhadapnya, penatku update driver, rollback driver, cucuk speaker sane sini..tidak jugak berjaya. Kehadiranmu Vista terus menyaksikan lambaian terakhirku kepada XP.

Latar blakang cintaku padamu vista,
DVD copy burned oleh Brenden, tiada cover atau box hadir bersamamu. Masih suci putih berseri..inilah waktu pertamaku sentuhmu Vista Ultimate 32bit...tiada cd key memastikan kamu masih single dan tiada milik sesiapa. Kutahu kamu adalah OEM (OriginalEquipmentManufacted-Free OS when buy manufactured pc) tapi tidakku hirau latar belakangmu. Tidakku mampu untuk membeli kelahiran tulen (ori) berhargakan AUD450. Ampun dan maaf kepada Pakcik Gates, ko dah cukup kaye dah. Tiada bezanya antara kamu OEM dan Original Product, kamu tetap mampu update dan berfungsi sepertinya. Hanya perbezaan darjat yang kutidak sekali kali pandang. 'Dub dab dub dab', degup jantungku tatkala ku install mu. Masihku belum yakin dengan penemuan awal kita ini.


Cinta pandangan pertama...
Mengambil masa 50minit untuk lengkapkan installation. Sungguh lama jika dibandingkan dengan installation ex-OS ku, XP. Walaupon begitu, kulihat lebih matang windows kali ni. Amat kesederhanaan (simple) welcoming tones mu mencairkan hatiku. Lebih lunak dari XP yang amat lantang dan agak biadab. Pertamanya inginku install mobo (motherboard), gpu (graphic processing unit), sound unit and modem driver.Tidak disedari, rupanya sudahmu install secara automatic diwaktu penantian selama 50minitku tadi. Termasuklah modem password (cayalah! sbb aku lupe password). Vista, kau amat memahami perasaan aku. Ku sudah dapat rasakan akan kekuatan ikatan asmaradana antara kita berdua. Lantas terusku install segala software, tiada sebarang masalah keseraian denganmu wahai Vista. Kamu memang bagaikan gadis kampung yang ayu dan cantik yang tidak memerlukan segala bedak dan wangian. Penulisan (font) dan warna amat berseri dan mantap (sharp). Dahulunya aku tidak berapa minat 22'' acer monitor ni kerana kecerahan (brightness) yang amat crap. (very typical acer product), tetapi dengan bantuanmu Vista, monitorku amat cantik dan berseri sekarang ini. Sungguh ringan tanganmu membantu sesama lain. Sudah pasti bondaku amat berkenan padamu vista. Hatiku cair untuk kali kedua...

Keindahanmu...
Sesungguhnya kamu memang dilahirkan cantik, cuma inginku hiasi dirimu:
1. Windows sidebar memang amat berguna. Terus aku hadiahkan jam berjenama ROLEX model Yatch Master 3. Wow sungguh berseri. Di sidebar itu jugalah kau ungkapkan picture slideshow, kenangkan indah memory ku dahulu kala bersama bidadariku. Amat bijak kehadiran slideslow itu kalau tidak ku simpan sahaja gambar itu tanpa dilihat. Memang pandai kau menjaga perasaan aku.

2. Amat ku benci dengan taskbar windows, laluku sembunyi (hide) dan gantikan dengan AquaBar, shortcut yang cantik terampilan di wajahmu (desktop) dengan single click toward program. Jika tidak, haruslah ku lalui ke Start>All Program>program, leceh...sungguh leceh...AquaBar icon cantik cantik belaka, boleh diubahsuai (customise) makin berseri wajah vistaku...(ala ala ala sipu2 plak vista ni).

3. Pemakaianmu terlalu ringkas, inginku lihat kamu bermodenan sedikit, kupergayakanmu dengan Yodm'3d! Ku hampir melonjak rasa kegembiraan. Yodm'3d, adalah functioning design kepada Linux Beryil (link wajib tgk) Zooousssss! bagaikan kudibawamu ke masa hadapan tahun 2020.Canggih, sungguh canggih...Tujuanku kenalimu kepada Yodm'3d:

• a) Boleh set 4 desktop yang berlainan wallpaper. Amat mempermudahkan urusan program ku tatkala satu desktop sudah penuh sesak. Maka tiada lagi programs yang berserabut dalam one desktop. Paham? tidak mengapa, amat dalam maknanya cinta ini padamu yang memang sukar di tuturkan. Hanya hati yang mengerti.
• 
• b)Ku pilih wallpaper sama rata, ada gambar famili, bidadari, minat dan binatang belaanku, jimi si rimau kumbang. Tiada rasa iri hati sesama mereka kerana wajah meraka selaluku amati.
• 
• c) Sungguh mudah untuk pilih secara putaran (rotating) serta zooming dan drag & drop.

Kemantapanmu....
Cantik memang cantik, semestinya mahu berkekalan lama. seperti bidadariku, ingin kau cantik sehingga lamanya. Akanku jaga kemantapanmu (performance):
1. Vista, kau telah menyediakan Performance and Information Tools (Control Panel>System and Maintenance>Performance & Information Tools). Bagi keserasianmu Vista dan PC, telah ku dimaklumkan dengan rating is 5.2. Amat tinggi rating tersebut, janjiku padamu, bukan sahaja tidak akan membawahi rating tersebut tetapi akan terus mantap (improvement). (haaa ingat awek2 je kene rating....eheeh)

2. Ku perhatikan CPU(jiwa) and RAM(perasaan) di Windows Sidebar .Akan ku pastikan jiwa dan perasaan mu tidak melepasi tahap yang sedia ada. Tidak ku sanggup melihat kau menderita lantas merajuk yang akan melibatkan meletup pc ni. Bersama sejumlah empat giga ram, telah kau ambil 1giga (1gig to run vista). Amat murah hati kerana membiarkan lagi 3 gig spare kepada program yang lain. Tambahan pula aku ni suka run program banyak di satu masa (at once) Kau memang saling faham memahami..ohh indahnya~..

3. Penyesalanku di awal pertemuan. Ku pohon maaf kepadamu vista di atas anggapan negative mu kerana audio system yang tidak lengkap. Hanya 3 dari 5 speakers sahaja yang berfungsi. Ku memarhimu kerana beranggapan ianya tiada berfungsi sebab kehadiranmu. Telahku penat update and rollout sound driver, adjust di audio manager, tidak juga berjaya. Fahamilah, tidak sekali perasan benci padamu. Bukanlah niat dihati memarahimu, mengertilah ia semakin membuatkan cinta yang mendalam mengorek isi hati cinta kita bersama. Kuakui, semuanya adalah kerana kekuranganku...amat sengal kurasakan. Yang sebenarnya ku salah cucuk di input jack blakang PC ku . Ada 6input jacks yang tidak dapat aku bezakan warnya yang seiras. Ku sedaya upaya cuba dan salah ('try and error') cucuk cucuk tetapi ku mengaku kekuranganku, di mana silapnya?Ku ini rabun warna! Tidakku dapat bezakan warna light brown, light green and yellow. urghh...mengambil masa setengah jam barulah akhirnya menghasilkan crispy and solid sound...haaaa legeeeee....Harapanku, agar kekuranganku ini dapat diterimamu seadanya. Kini...lima speakers + subwoofers berdetum detum...puasss! sexy sungguh suaramu Vista..Ketika kita bersama di alam game dan movies memang rase seperti benar benar. Tatkala games perang, dapat ku rasakan musuh datang dari blakang, inginku toleh seperti seakan akan didatangi secara benar. Sungguh indah perasaan ni..

4. Kusedar kecantikanmu amat digemari ramai. Ku taruhkan security untuk menjagamu, ku Update Vista versionmu yang terkini dan juga Antivirus. Tidakku sanggup kau dikebas (hack) atau disakiti (virus) orang maka kukorbankan AUD12 membeli Kaspersky Antivirus dari ebay. Ku pakaikan padamu, amat mudah(reliable) dan ringan. Tidak mengganggu segala urusan program lain. Amatku recommend! Berkali bagusnya berbanding AVG free yang pernah kecewaku dahulu kala. (yelaa namepun free)


Fuh, lega dan amatku puas hati dengan takdir kita bersama, Vista..kau sesungguhnya memang cantik dan sexy dari segi rupa (interface), suara (audio) dan physical (performance). Tidak pernah rasa jemu di setiap hari ku mengadapmu. Percayalah, tanpamu disisi ini, hilang akal la aku kat Cloncurry. Penemuanmu adalah sesuatu yang baru dalam diari hidupku.

Kaulah Intan Payung Jantung Hatiku,
-Azman Love Vista-



*jgn jeles

Weekend @ BrissVegas

Weekend was very fantastica bombastic! Met my bidadari after almost 4 months being away..biar pon seketika, dapat jugak melepaskan rindu tak terkata...ceewahh! So many things finally settled; get my Notice of Assessment from ATO for tax return (kaye kejap aku tak lame lagi), visa updated, layan sepam dua wayang, lepak Borders almost halfday bace² mags and books, had an interview with CITEC (IT Firm) in Gladstone 7hrs from Brissie, catch up with buddies cerita pasal masca lepas, gossiping and what not <--- (perkataan famous kat msia).

Namun begitu, duet mengalir cam air jeer rase.. almost AUD500 gak abis aku blanje selama 5 hari di brisbane, meaning 100bux p/day average! gilee..tu psl aa aku mmg takley duk brisbane..bahaya..tu blum lagi campur kalo aku main golf..ape yg aku spent telah pon disiasat: spent on foood food foood, upgrade my PC bought another 2g RAM + bought external 500HD, PC game Splinter Cell Double Agent, dvd box The Unit S1 and S2 + Las Vegas S3, bekalan daging ayam utk sbulan, magazines and what not. Banyak siot abis..im glad to live in Cloncurry, agak² gian nak beli somthing pi la shopping kat Woolies...

Hurmm now back in Curry, Brenden dah cabot balik Emerald..Peter plak chuck a sickie buat perangai olok² sakit harini anta sms kol 8am berbunyi "Feelin crook mate, wont make it today", another word for 'sickie' is 'crook', new vocab for me..hehe. Dave busy giler nak kacau die pon seram..biaseknyer keje² on Friday we save it for Monday but rase semangat harini nak setelkan sume je..

So wot the go for weekend, mate?

• Usual routine : Laundry sume baju samada dah pakai atau blom, masak for stock next week, kebas katil kat luar, buang sampah, cuci kitchen kasik kilat.
• Layan Ezora, kodok last week yg missed about 5 episodes plus another 5 this week, total up 10 episod! uihhh dengar cite dah makin suspend dah drama ni.
  
• Layan Splinter Cell, great graphic yet too many hassle nak kene tukar setting sound la, setting play with xbox360 controller, directx la, spent the whole nite smalam setting menatang ni skali youtube plak tade sound...kimek aaa Ubisoft (developer), slalu kuarkan game yg gempak but setting pelik² kene adjust.
• Buat timeplan for Vista upgrade on my SilentAmmo (nama manja pc aku). Go for Vista Ultimate terus. Excited ni nak guna Vista, bley gune directx10! But have to make sure sume software that currently im using is compatible with Vista. I probably have 100++ programs in Silentammo at the moment. I never had problem with XP, run smooth but gotta catchup with the flow...and rumor heard that new OS is coming next year, Window 7 a.k.a Vienna!
• Tido di siang hari..haa Cloncurry dah panas dah smule, kejap giler winter...malam² dah takyah pakai stokin dah..siang kene start pasang airkon..waduuhh horror aa summer..

Greatly appreciate to Anas dan Ansa for your place, dah naik segan aku asyik merempat kat umah ko every month, nanti aa aku beli rumah ko tu, biar ko plak merempat! hehehe..tq tq
Have a nice weekend ya!

Ghost Town~~

Yesterday, Dave suddenly came in to us (IT section), with a stressy face and a cuppa on his hand..asking if any of us interested going to Mary Kathleen a.k.a Ghost Town..on that moment about 3.30pm...stil 1.5 working hrs to go..dengan slamber Brenden said, "shit yeah we going!" tanpa berpikir panjang...hahaha...cayalah supervisor! Slamber O'sullivan (bapak die) je nak tinggal opis tanpa IT support. kami sempat gak usha kat Google Earth how to get there and nampak laa ade ghost town...

Mary Kathleen history:
Situated about 63km from Cloncurry highway then about 5km off the road. Took us about 40minutes to get there. The town was there since uranium was discovered in 1954 by Norman McConachy. Mary Kathleen named after Norman McConachy's wife who believe had died of cancer of the uranium effect itself! The town is about 5km from the mining site. However, the operations ceased in 1981, after one million litres of radioactive liquid was deliberately released from the mines evaporation ponds during an unexpectedly wet season. 1984, the township auctioned off and community moved and left the town unaccompanied with empty buildings till now. Ghost town....




Byk movies about this kind of thing, one of them is Wrong Turn..cerita pasal ada penduduk ghost town yg saiko akibat kene effect uranium mines. Mereka bunuh dgn kejam org² yg datang ke sana dgn alasan marah kepada manusia yg gilakan penggalian uranium tanpa fikirkan hati perut kepada penduduk. Jadi aku terbayang aaa tibe² bley jumpe manusia saiko kat Mary Kathleen ni...perkkk...dah la Dave tak bawak rifle die...seram...dalam perjalanan, si Brenden dah pekene dalam 6pack of beers dah tak henti² buat lawak..kurang keseraman sket..

We went to the uranium site first, the track was fairly bad, really need 4wd and hard to see the track and would lost easily..hmm..sampai sana, it wasnt a huge site as others..but wwooowww kagum gak sebenarnyer...saw lots of roos drinking the water from there, wonder what would they turn up to be later on...cam warewolf ke, gergasi ke...mane la tau kan. The mountains surrounding look different from others too..gondol smacam, ade pokok tapi tak banyak..and pokok pon lain sket tak penah tgk kat Cloncurry...might be the uranium effects kot...Took a few photos there and we cruised..here we come, Ghost Town...


At the town entrance, Dave yang kekadang saiko ni bley buat lawak plak nak tinggalkan aku time tgh syok amek gambar..kimek sungguh...ade laa dlm 200m gak aku kene lari kejar 4wd die tu...buat lawak time² dah dekat senja..isk isk..kimek...then we were in the town..but we saw nothing but pokok² rendang dan a few caravan park yang camping kat situ (gile ke hape) walaupon dilarang camp...the streets was pretty good...tapi pokok² dan suasana dah nak gelap buat kami terpinga² about the direction nak cari building² lama. Pusing² punye pusing about 10minutes tak jugak jumpe any bangunan or atleast a cricket pitch from what we saw from Google Earth...they were suppose to be somewhere there...tapak² je ader laa...Dave yang dah putus asa gave up before we get lost in there..


Agak kecewe gak aaa trip tak nampak building langsung, aku dah imagine dah building yg dah tua dgn penuhi red dirts....moreover, there wasnt much time to explore unless nak overnite kat sane la, gile! Anyway...it was a good trip with those crazy ppl (Dave and Brenden, I'm not..hehe)..

Alrighty, gotta do some reports before flying back Brissie tomorrow, same flight as Brenden..im taking 3days off this time, mataairku ade kat brisbane too...would be very very pleasant holidays! Yeeha! Adios eberybadi!

Kepam!!Kepamm!!

Not awhile ago I was looking for the new hobby since hobbies aku tak bley pakai kat sini (golf, fishing, pantai).. so i found, taraaaaa! SHOOTING!!...there are numbers of Rifle Club in Brissy and one in Mt Isa (2hrs drve from Cloncurry) too.. i am interested mainly in Sniper! (*link)
Shooting is a bit cossie than golf.. lebey kurang gini la:

1. Licenses (Firearms + Application) = AUD 150
2. Club fees = AUD 75
3. Rifle = AUD1500
4. Rifle Optical = AUD300 - AUD 1000
5. Bullet = AUD 25 to AUD30 /dozen
   
6. Storage = AUD~100 - AUD300
7. Other Accessories (Cleaning + Case etc ) = AUD800

We are are looking at range of AUD 3000 gak aa nak start mende ni..bley tahan mahal gak..but my gut telling me that it will be the best freaking experience ever! ni asyik tembak gune mouse + keyboard jer.

Yup, again shooting is a common hobby among aussies...cam golf gak la..three of my office mates actively involved, haaa nak yg bes lagi rupenyer Brenden is one of them! after a week with Brenden, it turned up that guy was'nt bad at all! mungkin aku bengang sket sbb pasal driving license die tu je aa..but we have in common : PC hardware nerd and love shooting game,... tapi again pesallll laa ozi ni suke sgt lawak kentut? one day he showed me video clip from youtube org² kentut..byk plak tu, takde aa lawak sgt selain kepuuut kepuut preet preet.. tak paham kawe...

Back to story, friday arvo we saje² pi point lookout, then si Brenden start aa bukak cerita pasal sniper, how to shoot from the top tu, xplained a bit there and here pasal wind, distance, heartbeat, trigger..perkkk aku dapat rasekan kegilaan die...nice...then, last nite after work, me and mates juz lepaking sambil borak pasal shooting for the whole nite..they were shocking when I said it is mandatory hukum gantung if illegally own gun in Msia..they showed me some pics of their hunt; kangaroos, rabbits, bores, birds, camel pon ade! one by one they storied on how many times they had to shoot to bring them down and which area to shoot..how bullet went through their lungs and ribs...perkkk..ganass...not mentioning splattered headshot...uhhhhh...

Then Dave tibe² bukak beg die..taraaa! all the shooting gears except the rifle kept in the case in his car, and plus he a bit wasted dat nite so tanak cari pasal laa main ngan sniper malam² buta..mabuk² pon pandai disiplin diri...bagus. He showed us his ammo and what not. Coooooool..agak jakon laa aku...life bulllet! Mmg menarik abissss...Dave (25yr old) ni agak saiko sket, he drove his '98 Pajero from Brissy to Curry (24hrs) sambil² stop over at any shooting spot..badan besar cam marine..not a big talker but kelakar kekadang..last nite on our way back from staff farewell party, he asked me "Mate, issit safe walking around at these time? Coz u know wot, I am a good runner", berkate sungguh² sambil angguk² kepala suruh aku percaye..hehehe.. gelak besoo aku, agak penakut rupenyer..hehehe.nampak gaye cam silent assassin.hehehe..well, he will be in Curry for 3 months...so if any chance he will bring me along shooting...jengjenejeng!

*kelibat jakun Ammo .338 :

Selamat berjuang

Dear diary,
Demam euro baru je abis, tambah plak demam NCG Game minggu ni..sure semua budak super smangat aaa utk bertempur with new belang jersey, supporters yg makin ramai, team yg paling mantap...uhhh (*keluh)..bagi aku semangat tu aku simpan jeer aa dalam hati..minggu ni plak school holiday, so dewan indoor skolah tutup maknenye takde laa indoor soccer lawan budak2 mines like always...rase gian jer nak sepak something, nak sepak kura-kura plak tak penah nampak muncul di sungai yg tak penah ader air...
Dear diary, ape aku nak buat?maaf rakan² tidak dapat hadir berjuang bersama...it is all wrong time at the wrong place..begitu pon...

SELAMAT BERJUANG WAHAI RAKAN-RAKAN UTK MASCA NCG GAME 2008!

1st NCG in Queensland '03..classic..